Saying good bye can be hard

I have just waved good bye to a colleague & friend. It wasn't hard to say good bye as we will be speaking again tonight as we finish the finer details on a current collaboration.

Past good byes that have been endured can be rated from 'don't care' to 'disasterous'.

Saying good bye to my Dad in Manly hospital. His last words to me were 'don't go, I don't want you to go'. He hadn't spoken a word in two weeks and that is what he left me with. My last words to him were 'I have to but I'll be back this afternoon. I love you'. I am crying as I write this because we really are/were a close family and I feel the gap so very much.

Saying good bye to England when I was nearly 17 was only slightly less devastating. Even though I have lived in Australia more than half my life I still consider myself more POME than Ozzie (except for when the cricket or rugby is on and then I become 'fickle'.) Charlotte & I hugged ever so tightly as we said our farewells. We were as desparate as any 'teenage-school-girls-best-friends-from-birth' could be. We would never see each other again in quite the same way.


Saying good bye to anyone for any length of time can be difficult for me. This is why I will usually disappear quietly from a party or a weekend away without actually saying it. One doesn't always say good bye to people though.

Saying good bye to my waistline had it's upside as at it meant hello to 3 beautiful, shiny, new and chaotic kids! Life has never been the same since they appeared. They are completely brilliant individuals and I am blessed to have them in my life.

Saying good bye to my Grandmothers chipped tea cup was both difficult and extremely liberating. In fact it was the start of realising that I didn't need to keep everything that someone once owned to show how much I loved them. The piles of stuff kept did not equate to the amount of grief I felt about them no longer being here. Learning this started a whole series of events that allowed me to stop hoarding and come to the end of my grieving. It sounds simple I know but over a matter of time I no longer worried about the piles of stuff as well as the grief. It all just kind of, well, subsided.

Saying good bye has given me so many opportunities to appreciate life. No longer could Dad be sought for advice or opinion so I had to go out and learn. Leaving England also meant leaving my youth and I arrived in Australia as an 'adult'. People had no experience of who I was at school and so I had a fresh start. No longer a 'clown' in the back row, I could be reborn.

Saying 'hello' to the kids helped me to shelve my ego and put others first. Those 3 have had me overwhelmed with joy and despair within a heartbeat of each other so I have had to learn to think first and respond second, at times without any discernable delay!

When we say good bye to one thing we are always saying hello to something else. When I am hired by someone who has trouble letting go of 'stuff' the question is always the same. "What are you making room for?" The answers have been as delightfully varied as my wonderful clients are:

• "To live again"


• "Opportunities"


• "A sewing room"


• "A partner"


• "New clothes"

So dear reader, what would you like to say good bye to?

Hoarding, you're not alone

Most hoarders fear that they are alone in their tendency to hold onto things and can feel quite isolated. You may be surprised to know that there are an estimated 150,000 people, living in Australia who are Compulsive Hoarders. This estimate does not include people who are Chronically Disorganised and therefore may be prone to holding onto things for fear of not knowing where anything is!

So why is it that for some of us letting go of things is so very difficult? Take the person who has lost someone close and much loved. To some, if they were to remove the objects that were no longer being worn or used, this could equate to removing that person from their lives altogether. Of course just by decluttering we cannot remove the memory of someone dearly loved and missed, but sometimes in grief we can lose perspective.

On a lighter note, think of the 35 year old woman, who used to need a corporate wardrobe. Her life has changed lately as she has 3 children under 5 and is finding it hard to let go of the old lifestyle, income, wardrobe etc. Donating the 'uniform' is saying goodbye to the way things once were. She doesn't ever want to go back to that way of life as the children are the best thing that has ever happened (especially when they're all asleep and the kitchen is clean). But really, is doing the washing up or vacuuming in fine wool and heels really appropriate for her now?

'The Secret Weapon' (my most excellent assistant) can de-clutter a wardrobe in less than 4 hours, this includes putting outfits together, removing all signs of the 80's & 90's but does NOT include, I'm afraid, any shred of tact whatsoever! This is why 'The Secret Weapon' knows she is not allowed to talk to our dear clients on day 1. And a big NO by the way, you will NEVER know her name, she's mine and I want to keep her :)