Eating Elephants, Realistically

On the first visit to a new client one of the questions I ask is 'how long do you think it will take us (you & I together) to organise your home from top to bottom?' The answers are wide, varied and depending on where the client 'is at' can be extremely negative. Teaching people to become organised can sometimes be secondary. The primary focus can be to help the client reach a 'realistic' expectation of how long the process will take.

Imagine Carol (of course it's not her real name, I assure client confidentiality!).... Carol has 3 busy boys at home and the youngest started school last year. Perfect timing as she had to go back to part time work as her husbands income had been reduced due to the GFC. Duties at home had stayed the same, she was still having to wash & iron the uniforms, make the lunches & dinner, do the shopping, find the school shoes, write the permission notes, reconcile the bank account, pay the bills and remain smiling, because as we all know, Mum's job is to hold the family together.

I turn up, 10 months after Carol has gone back to work. She's stressed, anxious, feels like she's failing. She needs answers and shes needs all of the answers RIGHT NOW. She cannot go another day living in this chaotic home. I start to ask questions, 'Well' she answers, 'as you can see I can't get on top of the washing, we can't find 2 school books already and it's only first term, I've lost the medical bills I need to claim back and I've no idea where the electricity bill is. I've been overcharged on my Visa card, I forgot to take back the shoes that don't fit, we want to paint the eldest's room and my husband is cranky with me because I was too tired to go out to dinner last night.... He's been very good and even suggested getting a cleaner but it takes hours to tidy up before she comes and then she doesn't do what I want her to do... (By now I'm thinking that more than a few can relate to this story)

What Carol wants is a quick fix, I can give her some of those! But what she needs is some processes, systems and ideas that will fix the chaos long term... This is where I bring out 'the big gun'!

'Yes, there is a lot we can fix right now' I say, 'but it can't all be fixed this afternoon. You see Carol (I'm handing her a tissue by now as she says "I'm sorry, I bet no one else breaks down like this") it's a bit like trying to eat an elephant in one sitting, it just can't be done. You can only do it one bit at a time.'

Some of you at this stage might be thinking, 'if that woman was talking about elephants to me I'd have my hands around her neck!' I want to make sure you don't miss the point here. The point is that a huge task can be done as long as you are realistic about it (and you have a plan!). After all, I know none of us really want to eat an elephant, we just want it out of our living room...